I’m asked this question by survivors of narcissistic abuse on an almost daily basis… and my heart goes out to those who continue to hang onto the hope that perhaps the narcissist they are involved with is “different” from the others. After all, we’ve invested so much of ourselves into the relationship… giving them unconditional […]Continue Reading
Narcissistic Abuse is Insidious...
The perfect version of your dream come true love story with your best friend and soul mate quietly and violently mutates into the most frightening horror story where you find yourself alone, confused, desperate, and totally depleted.
Most survivors report they weren't aware they were even in an abusive relationship, nor did they know what narcissistic abuse was prior to being ripped through the shredder.
The aftermath leaves you in absolute disbelief - feeling confused, abandoned, invalidated, and virtually unable to function. Family and friends who were sympathetic at first grow frustrated by your inability to just "move on"... and regardless of how horribly you were devalued and discarded, you find yourself obsessing over, as well as longing for validation and acceptance from the one who mentally, emotionally, and perhaps even physically ABUSED you.
Breaking up with a narcissist requires more healing than from a breakup between healthy individuals. However, there is a process you can follow to effectively get your head and heart on the same page, reclaim your mental and emotional strength, and begin moving beyond the cycle of abuse... and you can start right now.
This question is often asked in narcissistic abuse recovery groups and I regularly hear it from survivors I’ve worked with… “Why am I a narc magnet and how do I stop it?” While it’s true that narcissists scope out people who are highly empathetic with wonderful characteristics and traits that they want to drain and […]Continue Reading
For those outside looking into a highly toxic relationship, the question most often asked is, “Why do they stay?” Heck, I’m guilty of questioning the same and I even briefly studied this psychological phenomenon in the past. Then came the horrendous firsthand experience. The kicker is, I continued to ask myself, “Why the heck do […]Continue Reading
“S/he was so loving and affectionate, I was quickly swept me off my feet!” “Our connection was so intense, it felt like we were the only two people in this world.” “S/he always made me feel safe and totally accepted.” “How can someone lie through their teeth like that?“ Believe me, I GET you! The […]Continue Reading
I wouldn’t. They’re already so deep into idealization; they won’t believe a word you say. I didn’t want to know who the new person was – and the amazing people around me continue to make certain my request is respected. However, some of my friends quickly discovered who she was and reached out. She apparently […]Continue Reading
Narcissists don’t like being called out on their faults… nor can they tolerate “brokenness” (resulting from narc abuse) from their intimate other(s). Not all narcissists are physically violent and many of them choose to simply walk away and completely forget about it, instead of throwing a fit and exhausting themselves. During the “time apart” you […]Continue Reading
They’re known as altruistic narcissists. They extract supply from the admiration they receive from people who witness their activities. What the ex-narc in my life cared most about was announcing his great deeds on Facebook and watching how many likes and comments he got from his thousands of followers. “Always an inspiration!” Yeah, whatever… These […]Continue Reading