“S/he was so loving and affectionate, I was quickly swept me off my feet!” “Our connection was so intense, it felt like we were the only two people in this world.” “S/he always made me feel safe and totally accepted.” “How can someone lie through their teeth like that?“ Believe me, I GET you! The […]
Continue ReadingBreak Free From Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic abuse is insidious...
Most survivors say they didn't recognize they were in an abusive relationship, nor did they know what narcissistic abuse even was prior to being ripped through the shredder.
The perfect version of your dream come true love story with your best friend and soulmate quietly and violently mutates into the most frighteningly confusing, lonely, and painful horror story in which you are no longer able to recognize yourself.
The aftermath leaves you feeling confused, abandoned, invalidated, and unable to function... surrounded by family and friends who can't understand why you won't "just move on"... and regardless of how horribly you were devalued and discarded, you still find yourself longing for and obsessing over the one who mentally, emotionally, and perhaps even physically ABUSED you.
Breaking up with a narcissist requires more healing than from a breakup between healthy individuals. The cycle of narcissistic abuse unfolds in such a way that the victim who was at first brimming with personality, happiness, and a zest for life when first entering into the relationship is replaced with a mere shadow of that person who suffers from cognitive dissonance, C-PTSD, and dangerously addicted to their abuser by the time the relationship has ended. Not only are you grieving the devastating loss of a relationship, but you must also learn to understand and accept that the relationship was FAKE.
However, there is a process you can follow to effectively get your head and heart on the same page, reclaim your mental and emotional strength, and begin piecing your life back together. Download my Free Guide below to take the first powerful steps in the right direction today.
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Should I Warn the New Victim?
I wouldn’t. They’re already so deep into idealization; they won’t believe a word you say. I didn’t want to know who the new person was – and the amazing people around me continue to make certain my request is respected. However, some of my friends quickly discovered who she was and reached out. She apparently […]
Continue ReadingEx-Narc Wasn’t Violent. S/he Preferred to Take Time Apart to Cool Off. Aren’t Narcs Usually Violent?
Narcissists don’t like being called out on their faults… nor can they tolerate “brokenness” (resulting from narc abuse) from their intimate other(s). Not all narcissists are physically violent and many of them choose to simply walk away and completely forget about it, instead of throwing a fit and exhausting themselves. During the “time apart” you […]
Continue ReadingEx-Narc Was Active in Their Church and Charitable Causes. So S/He Must Be Able to Care About Other People?
They’re known as altruistic narcissists. They extract supply from the admiration they receive from people who witness their activities. What the ex-narc in my life cared most about was announcing his great deeds on Facebook and watching how many likes and comments he got from his thousands of followers. “Always an inspiration!” Yeah, whatever… These […]
Continue ReadingThe Narc Was So Attentive and Generous. Seeing Me Happy Made Them Happy. Maybe They Truly Cared About Me?
This takes place in the idealization/love-bombing stage which can last from a few weeks to several years. They get their narcissistic supply when you admire and appreciate their generosity. The narc doesn’t think, “I want to make them happy because they’re so special to me”… the sad reality is, “I do these things so they […]
Continue ReadingEx-Narc Was Concerned About My Well-Being and Worked On Resolving Problems. Doesn’t That Mean They Cared About Our Relationship?
Narcissists are master manipulators. There are narcs who will sit through long discussions to gain information on how to “calm you down” or make you believe the problem is resolved. Many survivors report that after “resolving” an argument and appearing as though they feel sorry for hurting you, they will continue to repeat those same […]
Continue ReadingThe Ex Looks So Happy in the New Relationship. Maybe the Narc Change for the Better?
It is IMPOSSIBLE for someone to feel genuine love, adoration, affection, and deep bond with another person… then IMMEDIATELY feel those same exact things for someone else. The “love” a narc has for someone is totally and completely superficial. They just want the coffee… and if they find someplace more convenient and with less hassle, […]
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