Narcissists are master manipulators. There are narcs who will sit through long discussions to gain information on how to “calm you down” or make you believe the problem is resolved.
Many survivors report that after “resolving” an argument and appearing as though they feel sorry for hurting you, they will continue to repeat those same offenses. Each time, they will “repair” the damage using what they’ve learned from your previous discussions…
This tricks you into believing that they took time and effort to take care of your hurt feelings. (Heck, I’ve actually THANKED the narc for “always taking care of my heart” after every single one these dumb occurrences, even feeling GRATEFUL for having such a caring man!) But a part of you will be left feeling torn because… why the hell did you have to go through this grief AGAIN? Why can’t they just STOP doing the same stupid thing they know will hurt you, over and over again?
Because it’s all superficial… they cannot care about anyone other than themselves, and they get supply from both your positive and negative emotions. When you’re upset with them, their egos are fed by having the power to affect you that way… and they feel superior to someone who is unable to keep their emotions in check. (“Look what I put up with… I am above you… you OWE me.”)