A. It’s absolutely soul-breaking when you see your “replacement” get everything the narc promised you but never followed through with. Throughout your relationship, you did everything in your power to work through the bumps, constantly forgave their shoddy behavior, gave them all the love and understanding you could possibly give another person… believing in your heart that the abuser will eventually follow through with all the promises he or she has made to secure your relationship. Yet, here you are…
The narc’s new “soulmate” on the other hand, was handed everything you’ve been patiently trying to “earn”, as soon as their relationship began.
This has you seriously questioning your worth… perhaps you just weren’t worthy of the narc’s love, respect, and affection?
STOP. There is nothing genuine about a narcissist’s actions. Keep in mind that narcissists are only motivated by one thing – narcissistic supply. This means one (or all) of the following is currently happening:
- The narcissist is love-bombing the new source to prime them up for manipulation.
- The narcissist is broadcasting his/her “success in love” to extract admiration and applause from those in the audience of this new relationship
- This display is an effort to show others that you are the crazy one and they are indeed able to be a wonderful partner to the “right” person… which you were not and are bitter about.
- The narcissist is trying to prove to him/herself that they made the right choice by discarding you for the new victim. This is especially true if they were not “ready” to end the relationship or if you were the one to end it.
- They want you to feel you were not worthy of all the things the narc’s been “dying” to share with the perfect soulmate.
This is simply a show put on by the narcissist to draw supply. Nothing more. Regardless, witnessing this sucks like no other… which is why executing no contact is absolutely necessary.
Remember, narcs are motivated by one thing only… narcissistic supply. That’s it. Not true love, an honest life, genuine bonds… NONE of that. They cannot see past their own needs. Ever.