Have you ever looked at something that’s been a part of your life for almost forever (furniture, pets, even family), and suddenly find yourself *seeing* it for the very first time? This has been happening to me quite often lately, and it’s creepy weird.
Why does my room look different? Are those my sandals? Is this the same laptop I’ve been working on for the past year? When did I finish designing that website? What happened to my golden highlights and green eyes?!! ( << just kidding... lol...)
If you think I’ve lost my mind, you’re right. But not how you might think…
You see, I’ve always believed in living life in the present and with a purpose. I thought I’ve been practicing it all this time. However, my recent “awakening” forced me to realize and accept that at some point, I’ve become a mere spectator of my own life. I wasn’t fully participating and simply waited to see what was going to happen next.
- I went through the motions without actually *living* the moment
- I relied on the weather, current events, and other people’s moods & actions to determine how my day was going to be
- I gave up my freedom to choose my own actions and my effectiveness
While I’ve always made it a point to *actively choose* positive thoughts and moods and to complete all of my daily responsibilities, at some point, I began to unconsciously live a life dictated by habits, routine, and weaknesses. Somewhere, somehow, I lost control of ME.
And now that I’m aware of this, I’ve made a conscious decision to take back control of my mind and practice being proactive. I will choose to think positive thoughts and take back responsibility of my own effectiveness. I will openly recognize and accept my weaknesses, learn from them and make constant improvements. And although I cannot be responsible for someone else’s thoughts and actions, I have full control of how I respond to them.
I accept the responsibility of being a true master of my life. I will not allow myself to be acted upon.
So today, I’m fully and actively ‘present.’ Writing this entry… playing with my son… doing my laundry… talking to clients… I know for every moment that passes, my opportunity to live in the moment and create a change in my life would’ve also passed. I now realize just how crucial this is because when you do these things, you force your life to shift in the direction YOU are guiding it towards.
It’s January 1, 2013… I’ve taken back the keys and I’m driving again.