I’m so relieved that we’ve found each other at this point in your journey to recovery from narcissistic abuse. It may not feel like a giant leap forward but keep in mind… small, EFFECTIVE steps in the RIGHT direction wins over being “busy” and making no progress, or taking no action at all.
Before we continue…
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Your subscription to the Break Free series gives you access to the best resources I can offer you; information and tools you need to become liberated from painful and abusive relationships.
I know firsthand, your pain and frustration… how lonely and invalidated you must be feeling. Your self-esteem is completely shot and self-love is almost nonexistent. You’re exhausted, confused, angry, and in absolute disbelief. I’ve had to navigate those same frightening tunnels several times before finally breaking free for good. I have a map and I’ll lead you out.
A brief background about me…
I’m a Life Strategist with a BSc in Psychology along with training and certifications in mental health and behavioral psychology. With 20+ years of formal studies and experiences in this field, people are always shocked that I could’ve fallen victim to this… especially me.
I’ve suffered narcissistic abuse in the hands of multiple individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), including family and intimate relationships. History seemed to constantly repeat itself in this are of my life, and escape from this horrible “curse” seemed depressingly bleak.
However, following my horrendous discard in October 2017, I have invested months and countless hours in research, studies, experiments, and improvements… and I have not only been able to cope with and survive the abuse, but completely remove myself from the narcissistic cycle of abuse. No trauma bonding. No cognitive dissonance. No triggers what-so-ever.
And I’m here to help you do the same.
Getting you started…
I believe you might be feeling a lot of pain and confusion right now Asa, so to get you started, I’m giving you my “First Steps to Recovery” bundle. These resources will provide insights and lay out the steps to get your recovery started.
Please take a minute to download your 2 guides: “Choose Yourself” and “No Contact – No Excuses”.
A “Heads Up”…
As a Life Strategist, I arm my clients with everything they need to successfully achieve the results they want. One of the most effective “weapons” when first navigating through unknown territory is to know what hurdles to expect. This is important because people naturally assume that when they hit a bump, it means 1) they did something wrong, 2) there is something wrong with them, and/or 3) what they are doing is not working.
Example: A man who turned to me for help several months after his NPD breakup, assumed that because he was constantly longing for his abuser, it meant he cannot survive without her in his life. The TRUTH: He went No Contact (NC) and was experiencing withdrawals from his addiction to the abuser. I gave him a list of the thoughts and emotions to be expected during this phase, how to face and overcome them… and now he’s at a point where he has moved beyond the abuse and focuses on re-designing his new life exactly how he wants it!
The three most common mistakes that interfere with recovery from NPD abuse…
#1 Denying the FACT that the narcissist in your life is a danger to your emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.
Individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder do not view, process, and respond to the world like we do. Because this disorder is virtually impossible to identify by physical appearance alone, we naturally expect the narcissist to genuinely think, feel, and behave like any other healthy human beings… but that’s like insisting a deaf person can hear, just because we cannot “see” their hearing loss.
Narcissists LACK a functioning personality, and as such, totally depend on approval and applause from those around them to validate their self-esteem and self-definition. It is beyond their scope of logical and emotional comprehension that other people have their own thoughts, feelings, and needs… that other people actually MATTER. I explain this disorder in detail in this article.
Narcs suffer from an eternal inner emptiness that must be constantly filled to validate their existence and importance. They’re like a black hole, sucking up any light and energy from their source of narcissistic supply (you) until all that is left is a shadow of who you were at the beginning of this covertly abusive relationship. They are UNABLE to see past their own needs – ever.
Take back and defend your personal RIGHT to live in a safe environment without fear and abuse!
#2 Expecting to recover INSTANTLY- or basing your recovery time on how long it took others to break free.
Narcissistic abuse has become an epidemic and there are several “recovery” programs that has popped up, claiming IMMEDIATE recovery.
I WISH! And I wish I could tell you that I’ve discovered a magic potion that will bring you instant healing and recovery. However, healing from narcissistic abuse is a very intentional process.
Survivors often have unrealistic expectations to the speed of recovery… usually based on these loopy programs… ADDING an enormous amount of pressure to the damage caused by the abuse… not mentioning the buried issues from toxicity accumulated over our lifetime that will rise up to the surface.
In order to truly heal for good, you must know how to properly process the trauma… and the time it takes for this to happen is up to each individual. However, I’ve been down this same road and found my way out for good. It takes being totally honest with yourself, genuine self-partnering, and plenty of discipline… but with an escape map and a plan of action, you can break free much quicker than if you blindly go through this alone.
#3 Expecting to recover completely WITHOUT putting in the actual work to process and heal from the abuse.
One of the biggest myths about recovery from narcissistic abuse is: “Time will heal.” Nope. Time can dull the pain and teach you how to cope and manage the symptoms of trauma bonding, cognitive dissonance, C-PTSD, diminished self-esteem/worth… but simply allowing the damage to sit there will not achieve recovery.
Survivors also often believe that by keeping busy every minute of their day, they are well on their way to breaking free. Another “Nope.” Sweeping it under the rug only means it will remain there and continue to contaminate while you move about the room. And when you get a moment to stop and be with yourself, you will be forced back into the agonizing reality of your experience.
Breaking free from this horrible cycle of abuse – whether it’s from one person, or several throughout your life – will require REAL time and effort invested in self-work to heal from the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual injuries from the abuse. But once you’ve truly healed and recovered, you will no longer be susceptible to abuse by toxic people.
I cannot stress how important it is to understand and avoid these huge mistakes that can seriously hinder your recovery.
The ULTIMATE GOAL is to Break Free from the abuse so you NO LONGER have to fight through your days and manage painful symptoms.
During the next 14 days, I will be sending you important key information about narcissism and narcissistic abuse, what you’ve just experienced, how this all affects your thinking process, and how to recover and move beyond the abuse.
Advocate for Victims of Narcissistic Abuse
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