When you execute and defend No Contact, you are making a conscious & proactive decision to remove yourself from the narcissist’s horrible world of lies and manipulation. This is absolutely necessary in order to give you space and take back some room to breathe and think, so you can heal and begin moving beyond the narcissistic abuse.
It’s also important to note that even if you are still unsure whether the toxic person really is a narcissist, it is imperative to remove them from your space to begin your healing process.
Now the REALITY CHECK…
While I believe it’s absolutely REQUIRED to go no contact in order to create a protective space for you to begin healing in, many survivors of narcissistic abuse are lead to believe that JUST doing no contact is the answer to recovery… that’s where you begin to see people saying:
I’ve been NC for 7 months but couldn’t keep it up. I texted him yesterday asking how he’s doing, but he didn’t text back.
It’s been 3 months of NC for me, but I’m starting to get weak. Someone, please talk me out of calling him!
2 years of NC but not a day goes by without thinking about her. Why can’t I move on?
No Contact is done to give you uncontaminated space to FOCUS on your healing… so you can’t just stop there! You have to go the next step to begin healing your inner injuries so you will no longer be susceptible to this kind of treatment!
Example… being stuck in a leaky lifeboat in the middle of the ocean is bad enough; but 1000x worse if you’re stuck in a leaky lifeboat in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by killer sharks! Without the sharks, you at least have the time & space to think and give yourself a few more options to save yourself. However, in shark-infested waters, your fear for your life only allows you to think about the sharks! But it’s not enough to simply “survive” in that leaky boat in the middle of the ocean… the solution to this problem is to get yourself back to shore and learn how to prevent this from happening again.
No contact is the beginning… making sure you build yourself up so this won’t happen again is the next step!
Also, many survivors mistakenly believe they’ve gone No Contact when in reality, they have gone No Response. If the narc is still able to reach you by their regular phone, email, social media, etc., you’re NOT doing No Contact. Simply “not responding” is NOT No Contact. The BLOCK feature is your best friend here… please take advantage of it!
This why I wrote the “No Contact. No Excuses” guide for you… because if you don’t learn to PROPERLY do No Contact or Modified Contact, your efforts to heal and recover will be greatly jeopardized. If you haven’t downloaded it yet, please do so… and if you haven’t started reading it yet, I urge you to start today! It’s THAT important!
Keep protecting your space… properly… and focus on healing your inner injuries. Remember, you’re not alone. I’m right here to help you along.
I’ll see you tomorrow
[su_box title=”Resources from this email:” style=”soft” box_color=”#81D8D0″ title_color=”#000000″]
Group Coaching Session:
In this Free 14-Day Recovery Plan so far…
- #00: Your First Steps to Break Free from Narcissistic Abuse
- #01: You Are NOT Crazy. This Really Happened
- #02: Get Immediate Relief from the Pain
- #03: Symptoms of Narcissistic Abuse
- #04: A Warning About Online Support Groups
- #05: Can the Narcissist Change for the Better?
- #06: Are Narcissists Able to Love?
- #07: What Makes You a Narc Magnet?