When I Go No Contact, It’s Final

By Carmen Sakurai

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Do it to get yourself back. Not to get back with your ex.

Feeling abandoned and unwanted. Having to change routines that we shared for years. The “Good morning, my queen!” texts that stopped arriving. No longer having my very own person…

The most difficult part about breakups? For me, it was how difficult it was to detach and recover. I still cringe about the countless days where I could barely function — and as a single mom and business owner, that was not an option.

But focusing on mending a broken heart is not easy.

Whether you were broken up with or did the breaking up, it’s only human to fix your attention on the ex and the failed relationship after a breakup.

  • Do they miss me?
  • Are they seeing anyone?
  • Do they ever think about me?
  • Should I text?
  • Didn’t our good times mean anything to them? (Proceed to recall only the good times.)
  • I deserve better! (Continues thinking about and stalking the ex on FB.)

However, by depleting our brain-space with these thoughts, we quickly find ourselves unable to properly maintain the other essential parts of our lives including family & friends, work, and self-care.

For me, that generally looked like:

 

 

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