Make Yourself Hard to Manipulate and Abuse

No more making excuses for bad behavior... working hard for scraps of kindness... hoping if you tolerate a few more punches, they'll realize your worth.

And don't settle on simply becoming "strong enough to cope with your pain" or learning what to do "next time it happens."

  • REPLACE the distorted lenses you've been viewing your life through
  • CORRECT your destructive thought & behavior patterns

... and BREAK FREE once and for all.

Carmen Sakurai. BSc Psy., Certified Trauma-Informed Master Life Coach

Make Yourself Hard to Manipulate and Abuse

No more making excuses for bad behavior... working hard for scraps of kindness... hoping if you tolerate a few more punches, they'll realize your worth.

And don't settle on simply "becoming strong enough to cope with your pain" or learning what to do "next time it happens."

  • REPLACE the distorted lenses you've been looking through
  • CORRECT your destructive thought & behavior patterns

... and BREAK FREE 

once and for all.

Carmen Sakurai. BSc Psy., Certified Trauma-Informed Master Life Coach

Stop waiting for emotionally unavailable people to "decide" if you are worthy of love and respect.

 FREE Toxicity Impact Assessment

Manipulators Will Exploit Your Self-Sabotaging Beliefs to Control You!

I WANT TO...

We KNOW the behaviors we should never tolerate, yet we often find ourselves making excuses for poor treatment and taking the blame for things that aren’t our fault. Why does this keep happening? Childhood emotional neglect can leave us without a frame of reference for what behavior is appropriate vs. what is not. When our thoughts and feelings are repeatedly invalidated, we start to doubt ourselves. Over time, we develop a high tolerance for emotional pain, making it hard to recognize when someone is hurting us—because we’re not even sure if it hurts.

How can we truly know what we want when, as children, we were conditioned to abandon ourselves and focus on others? As adults, this conditioning leaves us with a fragile sense of self, finding security in serving others - often seeking the approval of those who mirror our emotionally absent caregivers. We believe that our worth is tied to how useful we are to those around us, and as a result, we repress our own needs, prioritizing everyone else’s instead. When we try to care for ourselves, guilt creeps in, convincing us that our time and energy are better spent on those who we think truly matter.

Adult children of narcissistic parents and survivors of narcissistic abuse often struggle with profound self-doubt, questioning our thoughts, memories, and even reality. Rather than seeing ourselves clearly, we view life through distorted lenses shaped by those who groomed us to serve their needs - leaving us trapped in cycles of self-sabotage. Manipulation tactics like gaslighting, invalidation, guilt-tripping, and triangulation have left us confused, lacking confidence, and dependent on external approval. We may find ourselves drawn to people who subconsciously remind us of our childhood caregivers and emotionally unavailable partners, hoping to finally receive the love and acceptance that were withheld from us.

Break Your Self-Sabotaging Patterns of SURVIVAL


How these patterns Are created

The negative words and actions we consistently received as children created deep grooves in our subconscious, becoming our DEFAULT way of viewing ourselves and the world. To cope with feeling unsafe, unsupported and unseen, we developed survival strategies including repressing our needs and pleasing others

How They affect us as adults

The same coping skills we depended on as children to help avoid more pain, mutated into self-sabotaging beliefs as we grew into adults. This is how dysfunctional patterns such as the need to prove yourself worthy to an abuser shows up in our present.

Breaking Obsolete Survival patterns

While we were helpless and unable to defend ourselves as children, we can defend ourselves as adults. However, because our emotional scars are invisible even to us, we must first identify these wounds to begin correcting the skewed information in your subconscious, and stop reinforcing the harmful patterns by which we function.

Narcissistic Abuse Is INSIDIOUS

I spent years studying, researching, and training in mental and behavioral health… but nothing could have prepared me for the sheer magnitude of pain, confusion, loneliness, and crazy-making experienced in the hands of a narcissist… without living through it myself.

While individuals with NPD appear to follow similar behavioral patterns, simply knowing the “textbook characteristics” of Narcissistic Personality Disorder is not enough to recognize someone with this disorder.

  • The narcissistic cycle of abuse is so insidious that most survivors aren't aware they were being emotionally or psychologically abused. Many don't even know what narcissistic abuse is until they've been ripped through the shredder.
  • It’s not uncommon for ADULT children of narcissists to discover MUCH LATER in life that their chronic low self-esteem, weak boundaries, persistent anxiety, self-doubt, and distrust stem from the emotional and psychological mistreatment they endured as children.
  • Emotional and psychological abuse is often dismissed or invalidated because it leaves no “physical proof.” Yet, the consequences for survivors are profound and life-altering - sometimes lasting a lifetime.

This experience left me mentally and emotionally destroyed… battling Complex-PTSD, and fighting thoughts to end my life because the pain and confusion were only getting worse at an alarming rate.

So I fought with EVERYTHING I had to break free and take myself back.
Let me help you navigate out of this LIVING HELL – for good.

LET ME HELP

Carmen Sakurai

BSC PSY, CERTIFIED TRAUMA-INFORMED MASTER LIFE COACH

I bring over 20 years of education, training, and experience in the field of mental health. As a certified practitioner of various psychotherapies, including CBT, DBT, and REBT, I have the tools to guide healing and transformation.

But my credentials are only relevant because of my own journey as a Survivor.

Despite all my training, nothing could have prepared me for the encounters with narcissists that nearly destroyed me. I didn’t realize my low self-esteem, weak boundaries, and persistent self-doubt were rooted in severe emotional trauma from my past.

I didn't know I've only been "coping" and "tolerating" (and not HEALING like I thought I was) until I found myself unable to function properly, Just being alive became a struggle. I'm a single mom with a child who depends on me... I couldn't afford to stay broken like this.

So, I poured everything I knew—my knowledge, expertise, and my firsthand experience—into my own recovery. I shattered the mask, broke free from toxic dependencies, and reclaimed my life.

Now, I’m here to help you do the same.

Customers served! 1000 + 1:1 Coaching Clients Served
Customers served! 1000 + Students & Members
Customers served! 1000 +  Podcast / Pocket-Coaching Subscribers

Choose YOU! Podcast

Powerful strategies and effective skills to break free and move beyond narcissistic abuse. Hosted by Carmen Sakurai – Certified Trauma-Informed Master Life Coach, 2x Best Selling Author, Survivor, and Advocate for Victims of Narcissistic Abuse.

No one can understand your journey like another survivor.

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