Make Yourself Hard to Manipulate and Abuse

No more making excuses for bad behavior... working hard for scraps of kindness... hoping if you tolerate a few more punches, they'll realize your worth.

And don't settle on simply becoming "strong enough to cope with your pain" or learning what to do "next time it happens."

  • REPLACE the distorted lenses you've been viewing your life through
  • CORRECT your destructive thought & behavior patterns

... and BREAK FREE once and for all.

Carmen Sakurai. BSc Psy., Certified Trauma-Informed Master Life Coach

Make Yourself Hard to Manipulate and Abuse

No more making excuses for bad behavior... working hard for scraps of kindness... hoping if you tolerate a few more punches, they'll realize your worth.

And don't settle on simply "becoming strong enough to cope with your pain" or learning what to do "next time it happens."

  • REPLACE the distorted lenses you've been looking through
  • CORRECT your destructive thought & behavior patterns

... and BREAK FREE 

once and for all.

Carmen Sakurai. BSc Psy., Certified Trauma-Informed Master Life Coach

Stop waiting for emotionally unavailable people to "decide" if you deserve to be loved and respected.

 FREE Toxicity Impact Assessment

Manipulators Will Use Your Self-Sabotaging Beliefs Against You!

I WANT TO...

We KNOW the types of behavior we should never tolerate... yet, we constantly find ourselves making excuses for shoddy treatment and accepting blame for things that are not our fault. Why does this happen? Childhood emotional neglect leaves us without a frame of reference for what behavior is appropriate vs. what is not. We often doubt ourselves because our thoughts and feelings have constantly been invalidated. As such, we develop a high tolerance for pain making it difficult to identify when someone is hurting us - because we’re not even sure if it hurts. 

How can we know what we want if, as children, we've been conditioned to abandon ourselves to focus on others? As adults, we lack a positive sense of self and find security in serving others - more often than not, seeking the approval of those who remind us of our emotionally absent caregivers. Because we believe our worth is based on how useful we are to those around us, we repress our needs and worry about everyone else instead. We feel guilty when we attempt to care for our own needs because we believe our time and energy are better invested in those who actually matter.

Adult children of narcissistic parents and survivors of narcissistic abuse suffer from extreme self-doubt, where we constantly question our thoughts, memories, and even reality. We see ourselves not through clear lenses but distorted ones, shaped by those who groomed us to serve their needs - resulting in constant self-sabotage. Manipulation tactics such as gaslighting, invalidation, guilt-tripping, and triangulation, left us confused, lacking confidence, and dependent on external approval. We find ourselves drawn to those who subconsciously remind us of our childhood caregivers - from whom we try to receive the love and acceptance withheld from us as children.

Break Your Self-Sabotaging Patterns of SURVIVAL


How these patterns Are created

The negative words and actions we consistently received as children created deep grooves in our subconscious, becoming our DEFAULT way of viewing ourselves and the world. To cope with feeling unsafe, unsupported and unseen, we developed survival strategies including repressing our needs and pleasing others

How They affect us as adults

The same coping skills we depended on as children to help avoid more pain, mutated into self-sabotaging beliefs as we grew into adults. This is how dysfunctional patterns such as the need to prove yourself worthy to an abuser shows up in our present.

Breaking Obsolete Survival patterns

While we were helpless and unable to defend ourselves as children, we can defend ourselves as adults. However, because our emotional scars are invisible even to us, we must first identify these wounds to begin correcting the skewed information in your subconscious, and stop reinforcing the harmful patterns by which we function.

Narcissistic Abuse Is INSIDIOUS

I spent years of studies, research, and training in the fields of mental and behavioral health… but never would I have been able to even imagine the sheer magnitude of pain, confusion, loneliness, and crazy-making experienced in the hands of a narcissist… without living through it myself.

While individuals with NPD appear to follow similar behavioral patterns, simply knowing the “textbook characteristics” of Narcissistic Personality Disorder is not enough to recognize someone with this disorder.

  • The narcissistic cycle of abuse is so covert that most survivors report they weren’t aware they were being emotionally or psychologically abused… let alone even know what narcissistic abuse was prior to being ripped through the shredder.
  • It’s common for ADULT children of narcissists to only learn much later in life… that their lifelong lack of self-esteem, weak boundaries, and persistent anxiety, self-doubt, and distrust are the result of the emotional and psychological mistreatment they’ve endured as children.
  • Emotional and psychological abuse is often invalidated and swept under the rug due to lack of “physical proof.” However, there are very serious, life-altering consequences the survivors must endure… sometimes, for life.

This experience left me mentally and emotionally destroyed… battling Complex-PTSD, and fighting thoughts to end my life because the pain and confusion were only getting worse at an alarming rate.

So I fought with EVERYTHING I had to break free and take myself back.
Let me help you navigate out of this LIVING HELL – for good.

LET ME HELP

Carmen Sakurai

BSC PSY, CERTIFIED TRAUMA-INFORMED MASTER LIFE COACH

I have over 20 years of education, training, and experiences in the field of mental health and a Certified Practitioner of several types of psychotherapy including CBT, DBT, and REBT.

But my qualifications are only relevant because I'm also a Survivor.

My years of studies and training in this field could not prepare me for my encounters with the narcissists who nearly destroyed me. Nor did I suspect my lack of self-esteem, weak boundaries, and persistent self-doubt were the results of severe emotional trauma from my past.

I didn't even realize I've been "coping" and "tolerating" my every day until I found myself unable to function properly, Just being alive became a struggle. I'm a single mom with a child who depends on me... I couldn't afford being broken like this.

So I threw all my knowledge and first-hand experiences into my own recovery to finally shatter the mask, release the toxic dependencies, and break free once and for all.

Let me help you do the same.

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Choose YOU! Podcast

Powerful strategies and effective skills to break free and move beyond narcissistic abuse. Hosted by Carmen Sakurai – Certified Trauma-Informed Master Life Coach, 2x Best Selling Author, Survivor, and Advocate for Victims of Narcissistic Abuse.

No one can understand your journey like another survivor.

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